Pucker Up Baby

I CAN NOT stand these stupid fucking LipSense mother fuckers.

First off, let’s talk about lipsense’s CEO #ultimatebossbabe.

Her name is Joni Rogers, and she makes my skin crawl. Here’s her Facebook, you’re welcome.

Here’s a bit of history on Joni:

  • Just kidding, i could care less about this bitch’s history.

SHE LOOKS LIKE ONE EVIL FUCKING BITCH.

And to top things off, apparently LipSense has ties to the trump administration! Oh, what’s that? You support trump? Fuck you then. Just kidding…not really.

Check out one of the many articles i found on Google here


Lipsense is known for their long lasting lipstick.

You can purchase one lipstick for a low price of $25.00…

But wait there’s more!

Let’s talk about this: (my famous words right before the real shit talking starts)

Lipsense claims to last UP to 18 hours.

  • But if you look at their website it actually says 4-18 hours. But they won’t tell you that. Why? Because their an MLM and spout nothing but lies.

There’s quite a process to applying this long lasting lipstick:

  1. Keep lips apart, and follow the natural shape of lips starting at the outer corner of the mouth. With one continual stroke, apply one layer of color from one corner to the other corner of the bottom lip, then one layer of color to the top lip. Apply the color, moving the applicator in one continuous direction versus going back and forth like you would with lipstick.

What happens if i don’t keep my lips apart? What happens if i apply lipsense in a back and forth direction?

hmmm

2. Repeat Step 1 two more times, so that you have a total of 3 layers of LipSense applied to your lips. Let each layer set for a few seconds before proceeding to the next, and do not press lips together. It is not recommended to apply more than three layers of color.

Only 3 layers, huh? What if i want 4 layers? Will i be grounded? Will Joni spank me?

3. When the application of the third layer of color is complete and the color has set, apply one of the LipSense Moisturizing Glosses over the final layer. Do not press lips together until the moisturizing gloss has been applied onto the last layer of lip color. After applying the gloss, press your lips together to smooth in the moisture rich gloss and enjoy the glorious look and feel of this long-lasting, advanced color technology!

LipSense Moisturizing gloss? What in the fuck is this?

Apparently you NEED the moisturizing gloss. But don’t worry its only $20.

After you’ve worn lipsense for 18 hours, you cannot just simply remove it. You need to buy Ooops color remover for $10.00

Ok so in order to have the FULL lipsense experience you need:

  • Lipsense – $25
  • Moisturizing Gloss – $20
  • Ooops color remover – $10

The full lipsense experience= $55

Do you know what i could buy for $55?

  • 5 months of ipsy
  • 5 months of netflix
  • A cruelty free beauty box subscription

FUCKING RIDICULOUS


Speaking of ridiculous, lets talk about the ingredients in Lipsense

Ingredients: Alcohol Denat, Acrylates/Octylacrylamide Copolymer, Isostearyl Alcohol, Silica, PPG-20 Methly Glucose Ether, Parfum, Hydroxypropylcellulose, Butylene Glycol, Aqua, Isodonis Japonicus Leaf/Stalk Extract, Hypericum Perforatum (St. John’s Wort) Flower/Leaf/Stem Extract, Paeonia Suffruticosa (Tree Peony) Extract, Tilia Cordata (Linden) Extract, Citronellol, Limonene +/- may contain : CI 77163, CI 77891, CI 77499, CI 77491, CI 77492, CI 45410, CI 17200, CI 15850, CI 19140, CI 42090, CI 45370

Funny story; Lipsense and Younique’s new perfume both contain the same first ingredient – Alcohol Denat

Yes children, Alcohol Denat is very bad for your skin.

And, speaking of things that are bad for your skin…

I have heard and read countless stories about women who had awful side effects from lipsense.

  • Chapped lips
  • Peeling lips
  • Tingling lips
  • Burning lips
  • Swollen lips

You get the idea

red

Yeah…that looks perfectly normal.

Rest assured, there is a perfectly good explanation behind these so called “side effects”.

Your lips are just detoxing! Don’t be such a negative Nancy, Christ!

Screen Shot 2018-04-20 at 10.04.47 PM

See! It’s true. Didn’t you know? Everything you read on the internet is true!


Check out Red Corvette – This woman is the bees knees and knows everything LipSense. Here is her Facebook, Twitter, AND oh yeah she co-owns mlmtruth.org

-MP

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9 thoughts on “Pucker Up Baby

  1. I found myself on Joni Roger’s page for at least 30 minutes, alternately laughing and cringing at the posts. Photos of women wearing trinkets given to them for making Senegence a ton of money are especially ludicrous with all the gushing about how lucky they are to work for such a woman. The jewelry is obviously costume quality and not even attractive.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. No makeup should have a “troubleshooting” guide. I like that it puts the blame for thr shit product right back on the customer. Pathetic. Is this how that company is saving their ass from getting sued?

    Liked by 2 people

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